How Hospitable are Congregations to Pastors?
Community and hospitality are central to the values of most churches – the hope is that congregants feel cared for and supported. Pastors are often the ones who are championing and embodying these values in congregations. But how are pastors and their families shown hospitality in the congregations they serve? How are they cared for and supported in their own churches? Unfortunately, many are not and it’s time for congregants to step up!
Congregational life can take a toll on pastors – they often face intense expectations and criticism and have to navigate conflict. Pastoral families also face congregational expectations, criticism and stress that can be intense. This can leave them feeling the opposite of being valued or cared for, instead leaving many extremely isolated and lonely.
Research reveals that support and care from the congregation toward the pastor impacts their well-being, as well as the whole family. In a recent study by Holleman & Eagle (2023) they found that pastors who reported feeling cared for by their congregation had less depression and better physical health. In research studies I have done congregational support was identified by pastors and spouses as an important resource for their well-being and helping them navigate the stress of the role (Clarke & Walker, 2022).
In addition to curtailing unrealistic expectations and personal criticism, support for pastors and their families can be given in many creative ways. Voicing encouragement and care to them is essential! This should also include pastoral spouses who often contribute in many, many ways typically far beyond the average volunteer – acknowledging and thanking them, is a form of care (Clarke & Martin, 2025). Pastoral families often are stretched thin both with time and finances and may not have family supports nearby due to what they give to their church. Practical help is appreciated – such as childcare help or finances to help with some of their practical needs. Another way congregations can extend grace and hospitality is by respecting the boundaries of the pastoral family so that they have freedom for family and personal time.
It can be easy to take for granted pastors and their families and forget that they too need to be the recipients of care, not just the givers of it. While extending care to pastors and their families might look a bit different, take a moment and consider – how are you contributing to your pastor and their family feeling valued and supported in your congregation? What creative ways have you seen that have been meaningful to pastors? If you are a pastor, how have you felt welcomed, valued, and cared for by your congregation?
Clarke, M. A., Martin, I. & Kim, D. (under review). Diverse perspectives from clergy wives on the challenging, yet worthwhile, experiences of ministry. Journal of Psychology and Theology.
Clarke, M. A., Walker, K. D., Spurr, S., & Squires, V. (2022). Clergy Resilience: Accessing Supportive Resources to Balance the Impact of Role-Related Stress and Adversity. The Journal of Pastoral Care & Counseling : JPCC, 76(3), 210–223. https://doi.org/10.1177/15423050221090864
Holleman, A., & Eagle, D. (2023). Is there a crisis in clergy health?: Reorienting research using a national sample. Journal for the Scientific Study of Religion, 62(3), 580–604. https://doi.org/10.1111/jssr.12859
Margaret Clarke
Counselling Department Head and Assistant Professor of Couple and Family Therapy, Briercrest Seminary
