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A Woman Talking at a Couple's Therapy Session

Hope for Change: Addressing Domestic Violence in Churches

In September 2024, Nova Scotia passed legislation declaring an epidemic of domestic violence, joining 95 municipalities in Ontario that had already done so. Violence most often occurs in intimate relationships, like the family. In 2018, 44% of women and 36% of men in Canada reported experiencing intimate partner violence (IPV) since the age of 15. Nearly 60% of Canadians have experienced some form of child maltreatment, including physical and sexual abuse, exposure to IPV, emotional abuse, and neglect.


Violence and abuse happen across all types of relationships and backgrounds—economic, ethnic, and social. It involves physical, sexual, emotional, spiritual, and financial abuse to control and maintain power. This reality can be discouraging for Christians. Many wonder, “How can domestic violence happen in our church family, where we profess to live God’s love through Christ?”


Religious victims and perpetrators face unique challenges in recognizing and addressing abuse. Three particular vulnerabilities stem from Christian beliefs in the sacredness of marriage, the practice of forgiveness, and the hope for change.

  1. Families are Sacred. Christians often see the family as the heart of the church, with spousal love as sacramental. Yet, the normalization of violence means religious leaders must help distinguish healthy from unhealthy relationships. Pastors need to preach that abuse is not only wrong but a violation of the marriage covenant.
  2. Forgiveness. Jesus taught forgiveness, but in cases of abuse, forgiving without accountability is dangerous. Abusive behaviors are often part of a larger pattern of domination. Survivors need more than apologies; they need perpetrators to take responsibility and change. Forgiveness can happen when the survivor is free from the cycle of harm.
  3. Hope for Change. While survivors may hope that intervention programs will change abusers, real change requires substantial professional and community support. Patriarchy, which privileges men’s power in families and society, complicates this. Religious leaders and their congregations can help shift survivors’ hope toward finding safety, healing, and rebuilding their lives.

There are opportunities during the regular routines of congregational life to raise awareness and provide education to better understand the problem of family violence and the faith resources that can address it. Consider incorporating discussions about healthy and unhealthy relationships in programs for youth. Information about abusive behaviours – physical, sexual, emotional, and spiritual – can be included in marriage preparation courses. Bible study groups can explore stories of violent relationships in scripture, using resources like Sisters, Mothers, Daughters: Pentecostal Perspectives on Violence Against Women published by Brill in 2022 (https://brill.com/display/title/62114?language=en).


To learn more about domestic violence and how to support families in your congregation, visit the Religion and Violence E-learning website: www.theraveproject.org.



Dr. Catherine Holtmann
Professor of Sociology and Academic Chair of the Religion and Violence Research Team at the Muriel McQueen Fergusson Centre for Family Violence Research at the University of New Brunswick.